


heart eye

by adamantine



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future Fish, Chef Nanase Haruka, M/M, One-sided Pink Alien/Matsuoka Rin, Police Officer Matsuoka Rin, The Pink Alien from Future Fish, yes not kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 17:57:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11407566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamantine/pseuds/adamantine
Summary: Thraazgikixxankraonbokrikilsia, an alien from planet Zixtri 5, is not used to being ignored. Somehow, some way, it was going win Rin over.AKA that pink alien from the future fish ending really wants to get in Rin's pants





	heart eye

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not rating this because I hate rating things it's too confusing ([also this is the alien btw](http://i.imgur.com/ssqOC6V.png))

Thraazgikixxankraonbokrikilsia (or Thraaz for short) was popular with all 29 genders on its home planet of Zixtri 5. There was Thraaz’s good looks of course. It was a lovely pink color, not too neon to be harsh on the eye, and not too pastel to fade into the background. It had two antennae instead one, the ideal amount in Thraaz’s opinion (while Thraaz knew from experience one antenna was quite fun when used well, three antennae individuals tended to be too pushy and lacked in technique). But Thraaz’s greatest physical feature was its heart shaped eye, a rarity among Zixtrians. It added a touch of the exotic. Combined with Thraaz’s wonderful personality—Thraaz believed itself to be charming, effervescent, intelligent, witty and a host of other vainglorious adjectives—there was no one in the universe that could resist Thraaz.

Or so it had thought.

Because on a remote, backwater planet called Earth there was at least one Earthling that seemed immune to Thraaz’s charms, a one Matsuoka Rin.

Matsuoka Rin was the prettiest human Thraaz had ever seen. Granted, it had not seen that many humans when it had come to that conclusion, but after three weeks on Earth it certainly had seen a lot and none of them had come close to beating the reds of Rin's fur and eyes (two, plural!), so much like the desert on Zixtri 5's largest moon, or the perfect shape of Rin’s body, fit and muscular from all the walking he did while protecting the streets from criminals, or the melodious sound of Rin’s voice, like waves crashing against the shore on the island Thraaz grew up on.

However, what Thraaz found the most appealing about Rin was his sharp, jagged teeth. Like Thraaz's eye shape among Zixtrians it seemed to be a rare physical feature among Earthlings. The other Earthlings only had a few teeth with points, the rest were boring and straight. Rin was special. Whenever Rin spoke Thraaz couldn't help but stare, getting lost in fantasies of Rin running his teeth down Thraaz's antennae, their sharp points catching on the sensitive bulbs at the end, scraping them to ecstasy. Just thinking about it made Thraaz blush. Thraaz would do anything Rin wanted in return for that pleasure.

It had not yet figured out how Earthlings matedーor quite frankly, if they even mated at all. It was entirely possible they reproduced with the aid of technology and did not mate for pleasure, in which case Thraaz was shit out of luck. Zeetoraxoztrakixxbolihadrixia, or Zee, its longtime friend and sometimes pleasure-mate, assured Thraaz that Earthlings looked like the type of species that "enjoyed getting freaky.” But Zee said that about every species, so Thraaz was not reassured.

It would have been so much simpler if Thraaz could ask them, but despite the fact that in three weeks Thraaz had already mastered fifteen Earth languages, not a single Earthling had mastered the Zixtrian language. Nagisa, the first Earthling they’d come into contact with, was at least trying to, but he certainly hadn’t mastered enough of the language for a complex conversation about mating and courtship. And despite understanding fifteen Earth languages, Zixtrian physiology made it impossible for Thraaz to speak them. There was also the chance that even if Earthlings at large participated in carnal pleasures, Rin in particular did not. It was truly vexing not being able to communicate with Rin.

Of course, even if all went according to Thraaz's fantasies, there was still the problem of not knowing how to pleasure Rin in return. Earthlings kept their bodies stupidly covered in garments, frequently obscuring everything but their heads. Rin was one of the Earthlings that did this, leaving most of his body a mystery to Thraaz. There was also a matter of the size difference between them, but Thraaz was sure it could work something out. Zixtrians had remarkable control over their bodies, able to stretch and mold their bodies to a surprising degree. They could make themselves as rigid or flexible as needed. They also had excellent suctioning skills and could even vibrate at a variety of speeds, which quite a few species appreciated. This made Thraaz certain it would find something Rin would like. It was just embarrassing not knowing where exactly Thraaz was supposed to be focusing its attentions. Rin’s mouth? It was, after all, Thraaz’s favorite place. His behind? Thraaz did notice more than a few Earthlings would stare at Rin’s backside when he walked past. His chest? Many Earthlings seemed to wear clothing that emphasized their chests, suggesting that it was an area of interest. Argh! No matter, it would figure something out when the time came.

The biggest hurdle to getting those sharp, sharp teeth all over its antennae was the unfortunate fact that Rin only had eyes for a sour-faced Earthling named Nanase Haruka, a hideous creature with a tiny, unappealing mouth. It made no sense to Thraaz. There was nothing appealing about Haruka. Not to mention, Haruka was constantly butting heads with Rin. Their encounters would throw Rin into a tizzy. Rin would return Haruka’s dour expression with a snarl (showing off those beautiful teeth in the process—how Haruka did not cower in awe in front of their beauty was a mystery) and threaten to arrest Haruka for being a public nuisance. Understandably, Thraaz thought this meant Rin and Haruka disliked each other, but it soon became apparent that it was just the opposite. They were like a couple of Denloidians in heat, both of them trying to get the other to submit in a series of complicated mating rituals, and like Denloidians it was taking _forever_ (Thraaz made sure to never court a Denloidian because of how long it took to get anywhere with them—Thraaz didn’t have that kind of time–though it supposed if its lifespan was measured in the millions, it too would drag out foreplay).

If they were Zixtrians this nonsense would have never happened. One of them would have long ago gone up to the other and asked to be pleasure-mates. Bam, simple. None of this pretending-to-be-annoyed-when-they-were-really-happy or staring-at-each-other-when-the-other-wasn’t-looking nonsense. Zixtrians were straightforward in their advances. Of course, it was also entirely possible that Rin was just a particularly dense human because not only had he not picked up on Haruka’s clear and obvious signals that he wanted Rin for a pleasure-mate, he could not pick up on Thraaz’s advances either, and Thraaz was pulling out all the stops. It threw hearts in air, blushed furiously whenever Rin held it, and had even vibrated excitedly on Rin’s lap which had only made Rin yelp in surprise before throwing it across the police station (luckily Zixtrians were a durable species). As a last resort, it had tried propositioning Rin in writing, but Rin had seemed baffled by its message (“✸♂☾♒⁕★⁂❋✲✲✭♈♢❄✰✰⚩♋♀♁♋✩⚣⚣✿✫⚤⚢⚨♋♋⁂✢✶✶♥♥♥”) since unfortunately while Thraaz had an oral understanding of the language Rin preferred, the written part eluded it. Short of ripping off Rin’s clothes, Thraaz was running out of options.

This was how Thraaz found itself breaking into Haruka’s apartment on a Sunday morning, squeezing itself thorugh Haru’s mailbox slot. Enough was enough; it was going to get rid of Haruka once and for all, preferably by pushing Haruka out of the window, and if that didn’t work, it would annoy Haruka to death by breaking all of his valuables. As long as Haruka existed, Rin would never pay attention to Thraaz and that was unacceptable. Rin _had_ to like Thraaz. It needed to feel Rin’s teeth at least once before leaving Earth.

Thraaz got to work immediately. It picked up a cup decorated in pink flowers and threw it on the floor, where it cracked into tiny pieces. _Excellent._ This was going to be easy. Thraaz picked up a glass statue of a bird-god and threw it on the floor too. A nice smash resounded through the apartment. Its plan was going wonderfully.

“Hey, stop that.” Two rough hands lifted Thraaz off the kitchen counter. Thraaz squirmed indignantly. The only person allowed to hold it was Rin.

 _Unhand me at once you cretin_ , Thraaz clicked in Zixtrian. Two blue eyes, ugly like Zixtria 5’s sky in winter, stared at it uncomprehending.

“Oh, you’re the one always following Rin around. Why are you at my place? Are you lost?”

_Do I look lost, you stupid creature? I’ve come to remove you from Rin’s life._

Haruka set it back down on the counter. Thraaz immediately went for a plate.

“Hey!” Haruka pulled the plate out of Thraaz’s thin hands and scolded it. “Don’t destroy someone else’s things.”

 _Fine. I’ll push you out the window instead. That was my original plan anyway._ Thraaz hurled itself at Haruka from the kitchen counter and body-slammed against hard muscle. Haruka stood unaffected by its assault.

“You’re going to hurt yourself.” Haruka picked Thraaz off the floor and set it on the kitchen table. “Just wait here, okay? I need to sweep up and then I’ll take you back to Rin.” He pet the top of Thraaz head, fingers brushing gently between its antennae. Thraaz was so shocked it began to blush. Rin had never pet it before.

True to his word, Haruka swept up before carrying Thraaz out of the apartment. To its surprise, it did not mind Haruka holding it after all, even feeling a twinge of disappointment when Haruka set it down in a bicycle basket. It had been hoping Haruka would hold it all the way to Rin’s house, but Haruka had other plans.

The road was nearly empty the entire ride to Rin’s. It was still early in the morning, the sun barely beginning to rise, though to Thraaz Earth time was strange. The days were much shorter than it was used to, completely throwing off its sleep cycle.

“You know, you shouldn’t wander so far away from Rin. He worries, you know. Even if it’s only been a few weeks, he’s probably already attached to you. He’s that type of person.”

It was the most Thraaz had ever heard Haruka say in a row.

 _We’re only here because Nagisa amused us. Eventually we’ll return to Zixtri 5,_ Thraaz clicked.

“He’ll probably be really sad when you leave Earth.”

A small amount of guilt settled in Thraaz. It had not thought that far ahead. Pleasure-mates were not that serious of a commitment to worry about things like separation. That was more in the realm of bond-mates, which Thraaz had never been interested in, let alone with an another species. But perhaps Rin would not feel the same way. Maybe that was why Thraaz’s courtship tactics were not being noticed by Rin. Maybe he needed something that showed Thraaz wanted more than just a quick moment of pleasure. Maybe that was the problem for Haruka too. Rin might know that Haruka was interested in him, but he wasn’t sure of the full extent of Haruka’s feelings. Ah, how tricky. Earthlings were complicated.

Rin lived in a small, narrow townhouse with a terrace. Thraaz had not been in many Earth homes but it was sure Rin’s home was the best. Haruka pushed a small button near the door while Thraaz waited anxiously in his arm. What would Rin do when he saw them? Would he scoop Thraaz up in his arms and hug it? Would he finally admit he wanted Thraaz? Separation made the heart grow fonder—an Earthling phrase it had heard Nagisa say.

The door burst open. A confused Rin appeared, his fur wet, with nothing but a towel around his waist. _Finally!_ So that’s what an Earthling chest looked like. Or at least how Rin’s looked like. A bit flat, and—oh what was that indent on his stomach? A hole? And those two pink nubs! How exquisite! How lovely!

“Haru? What the hell are you doing here?” Ah, those teeth! How Thraaz adored them. Thraaz made a heart.

“Is that how you answer the door to someone who’s biked across town for you?” Haruka’s fingers dug into Thraaz. Thraaz made another heart, enjoying the pressure.

“You live maybe five blocks away. And it’s 7:00 AM. What’s wrong with you?” For once, Rin’s snarling annoyed Thraaz. Couldn’t he tell how happy Haruka was to see him? His body temperature had begun to rise the moment Rin had appeared in the doorway. Not to mention he hadn't even noticed Thraaz yet. It was right there shooting off hearts! What use were two eyes if Earthlings still only looked at one thing?

Speaking of eyes, Thraaz looked up at Haruka’s and noticed his had wandered down Rin’s body, to the towel around Rin’s waist. _Well, well._ So there was something underneath the towel Haruka was interested in. Thraaz stretched out his thin arms, trying to reach Rin’s towel to pull it off.

 _Can you move me a little closer to Rin?_ Thraaz asked.

“Your stalker broke into my apartment and started breaking all my stuff.”

“Huh? Wha—“ Rin was interrupted by Haruka shoving Thraaz into Rin’s face.

_Too close and too high! Imbecile!_

“Pinky?” Pinky was Rin’s nickname for Thraaz. “What the hell?” Rin grabbed onto Thraaz. Thraaz felt keenly aware of how different Rin’s hands felt from Haruka’s. There was none of the roughness that Haruka’s hands had. Thraaz did not know which he preferred. They both felt nice against him.

“Put a shirt on the next time you answer the door.” Haruka was already getting on his bicycle, the sight of which sent both Thraaz and Rin into a panic.

 _No! Don’t leave!_ Thraaz screeched.

“Hey, don’t just take off like that! Let me at least make you something to eat.”

Haruka turned to look at Rin, still halfway on his bike.

“Oh? You’ll make something for me to eat? That’s a change.” His haughty expression was ruined by the way his eyes shined at Rin’s offer.

“Shut up, I know how to cook too even if I’m not some fancy chef like you.”

Haruka got off his bike.

_Finally, you listen to me. Maybe you’re not a complete moron._

“Hmm, you sure talk big for someone that burns eggs.”

Rin opened his mouth and gaped. “How did you—Gou, damn it!” Haruka locked his bicycle to Rin’s gate. “Did she happen to mention that I was seven?”

“I can’t recall.” Haruka followed Rin inside.

Thraaz snuggled against Rin’s chest, content as the two continued bickering.

_None of the food you Earthlings make is edible. Except for cheesecake. That’s your only acceptable food._

Thraaz still wasn’t quite sure of the logistics of how Earthlings mated, but at that moment it didn’t care. Besides, it had a new goal now: it wanted to be pleasure-mates with Rin _and_ Haruka. Preferably at the same time. Imagine! Those sharp teeth on its antennae while those rough hands squeezed it! How wonderful! Thraaz could just die from thinking about it. _Soon_ , Thraaz told itself. It had never failed to seduce anyone so far. Haruka and Rin would come around eventually. Who could resist such a charming alien?

**Author's Note:**

> >don't write harurin since christmas  
> >write this


End file.
